Spring Break, Easter, and Healing

Where do I even start?  I know I want to record all that has happened recently, it's just still so tender.  I knew spring break was not going to be a great vacation, with exciting outings and play dates, but also didn't expect it to be so emotional either.  I had wisdom teeth pulled Tuesday of that week.  I found out afterward that these weren't your ordinary run of the mill, wisdom teeth.  Mine were large and misshapen and I'm so glad I only had 2, both on the same side.  My top one however was really close to my sinus cavity and I've been restricted from blowing my nose for two weeks, in order to prevent a tear between my sinus and mouth.  Seriously.  My bottom one was close to causing permanent nerve damage along my chin but luckily that didn't happen.  That whole day is still a little foggy for me due to be put out and then being on heavy pain meds.  The next day I almost blacked out in my kitchen and scared my husband half to death.  Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in bed, swollen, eating mashed potatoes and chocolate frostys.  I slowly started feeling more like myself once the weekend rolled around but that's when I noticed a weird pain in my arm that the oral surgeon had put my IV in.  Can you see where this is going yet?  Saturday was a nice day spent with Ben's family having our traditional Easter egg hunt.  We spent some time at the park, getting the kids some fresh air after a week inside.  Later that day, we decided to dye eggs.  This was the first time Ben and I have done them with our kids.  They've done them with cousins and aunts but never just our family.  Using only food coloring, vinegar, and water, we each dyed 2 eggs and not one was the same.

Easter Sunday came and the pain in my arm was only getting worse.  I was an emotional wreck getting ready for church because I was afraid it was another blood clot.  I spent some serious time on my knees.  Ben headed to church early to warm up for choir and I finished getting the kids ready.  I loved their Easter outfits this year, super simple and cute and I hardly spent anything.  

I was really excited to go to church not only for the Easter cantata but also because I was receiving a new calling in our ward.  I'm the new Beehive adviser in the Young Women's organization and couldn't be more excited.  But while I sat there, listening to the Easter messages being shared by the choir, I wasn't feeling good.  I was in pain from my mouth still and my arm and feeling so overwhelmed and discouraged.  Then the choir began singing this one particular song that spoke so deeply to my soul.  "I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: Behold, I will heal thee".  I couldn't have made the tears stop if I wanted to.  I know that my Redeemer took on all my sorrow and pain so that He could heal me so that I can live again.  Such an amazing Easter Promise.  That afternoon was spent with my family, eating a yummy meal and hunting more eggs.  When it was finally time to head home, I was in a lot of pain.  We decided to drop the kids off with Ben's mom and head to the emergency room.  It was a busy night and we had quite the wait.  I had an ultrasound done and was given the bad news that yes, it was another blood clot.  My IV from my oral surgery was the culprit.  I was pretty devastated and some how managed to produce even more tears.  I gave myself a shot of blood thinner but refused to take the coumadin.  Coumadin is a nasty drug when you are trying to get pregnant.  Hence the reason for all my fears, worries, and tears.  Due to other good meds, my body had been responding positively after almost 2 years of trying and the chance to get pregnant seems so very close right now, that the thought of going on coumadin and having to stop trying was breaking our hearts.  I went home sad and angry.  I struggled through Monday, trying to have a normal day getting the kids back to school, all while still dealing with the pain and the tears.  Yesterday, however, was a good day.  I saw my hematologist and he told us that the clot is superficial and I won't have to go on coumadin.  Sheer joy was all we felt at this news.  I was so relieved and so grateful and reminded of that song from Easter.  From the beginning I was praying that it wasn't a clot but it was a clot and the Lord reassured me that my prayers are still heard and that I could be healed.  I don't know why I had to go through this trial and all these emotions but I'm grateful for the promises of hope and happiness.  I'm so grateful for the strength Ben has been through all of this and for all the help from our families.  I'm praying for a speedy recovery and looking forward to diving into my new calling and continuing to live with hope for the future.